Do I want to take a survey? A #mefirstmay story


My phone died a horrible, slightly unexpected death this week. Really, there is some grief associated with that experience, but that’s a separate story.

As I navigated the maze of incredibly expensive and upselled phone options, I decided that using my phone insurance to replace it was the best plan.

In contrast to my experience at the phone store, the woman I talked with from the insurance company was personable, compassionate, understanding, and helpful. I truly enjoyed my time with her helping me. At the end of the conversation, she asked if I would be willing to take a short survey.

I panicked a little bit. Do I want to?

Now, underneath this, we know, is that this wonderful woman who just helped me could be helped in return by me giving her good ratings on this survey. I felt a sense of duty to her. I felt a sense that I “should” take the survey.

But, I was still fresh from thinking about how I need to take care of me first. How, when I take care of me, all else falls into place.

Did I want to take a survey?

No. I didn’t. I told her so.

I could hear her disappointment. I’m an empath. I could FEEEEEEL her disappointment. There is a part of me that still wants to get to that survey now because it was SO UNCOMFORTABLE to tell the truth that I did not want to take a survey. It was so uncomfortable to put my desires in front of someone else’s in that moment. Even in reflection, it’s stretching my heartspace to feel into me offering a “no” out of self love. I’m even still questioning it as I did in the moment.

What the fuck?

We are SO conditioned to put others’ needs, wants, and desires before our own. Most of the time, we don’t even CONSIDER what our true needs, wants, and desires are. I have been on a journey of exploring and allowing myself to fully embody what I REALLY desire in my life. It hasn’t been easy.

We have to learn to say no. We have to be able to stand in that space and feel the discomfort when others have to honor our no. Sometimes they don’t honor our no. Sometimes they push back and we have to stand stronger.

If we are going to truly walk our talk, then we also need to honor the “no” of others. This can get tricky. We are allowed to feel our feelings about a “no” we receive. But to truly honor the no, we must celebrate and accept it. So much more is possible when we do.

When we do this for ourselves and others, we create a living container for expressing our truest selves in the moment. When we are able to do this in one moment, we create strings of moments like this that turn into a much more fully-lived, authentic lifetime.

Do I want to take a survey? It seems like such a simple question. But it really became a place for me to walk my talk yet AGAIN on my authentic path. Allow myself the freedom of my truth. Allow another to experience their chance to honor a no and to potentially feel disappointment.

We have so many opportunities like this. How many are we really living?

If you’d like support in learning how to honor both your yesses and nos, I offer energy alchemy sessions and packages that help you live your most aligned life of truth and freedom. Especially helpful for empaths and recovering people pleasers. Alignment is the most efficient and joyful state there is.

Self Love Story #248

It’s amazing when I pay attention to my thoughts how often I am still berating myself and witholding my own love and approval from myself. Witholding things I want or need from myself.

And I have been practicing self love and sacred selfishness for years! Undoing decades of conditioning. It doesn’t usually happen overnight. It’s a practice.

Whenever I catch it, I make it a point to soften and become gentle with myself. Release. Let go. Treat myself like a beloved child. Realize everything is ok. I’m doing fine. I can be kind to myself.

I invite you to pay attention with the intention to soften towards yourself as much as possible. Tell us what you find.

#selflove #Lovemyselfsomuch #248is random #notentirelyrandom


I had a very special lover who had a beautiful way of connecting with me. We would communicate every day, though he was far away. He would always begin with a moment to feel into me from a distance. To feel my energy and connect. And then he would ask, “what is there for you today?”

This feels like a beautiful way to connect with each other. I feel very blessed to have had this experience for over a year. 

A Short Story of an Ordinary Miracle

The walls in my bedroom are blue to simulate this environment.
The walls in my bedroom are blue to simulate this environment.

Yesterday, I suddenly needed a new sheet for my bed. I just wanted to replace the sheet with the same thing because mine got a hole in it. So we went to the store, and those sheets were on sale! YAY!

They had every single sheet but the one I needed. The color that matched in my size of bed. Boooooo.

I was having that kind of day. (If I didn’t know better, I would have thought Mercury was retrograde.) All sorts of shit was blowing up and acting weird. I was pretty disappointed. There were 2 alternate colors I could get that would kind of coordinate, but not MATCH. I vacillated. I couldn’t decide. My son helped me decide to get the robin’s egg blue, which actually matches my walls. Ok, bummer. No matching sheets. Somehow, I was still disappointed. I can get just a touch OCD sometimes. I even had them check in the back to see if they had any more. Nope. Ok, whatever.

I came home and did all sorts of house and mom stuff. I’d had a long day and didn’t actually get the sheet on the bed until around 9:00pm. It ended up being a pretty perfect match to my wall.  After making the bed and getting ready for sleep, I pulled back the covers to get in. The semi-surprise and beauty of the blue color simply delighted me. It really is one of my favorite colors.

I was really sure in the store that I was disappointed. I was sure for hours that I was disappointed. Turns out, what the universe delivered actually delighted me. I felt that way all last night and all day today whenever I have seen it: delighted.

Sometimes we end up loving that thing we think we didn’t want.

Letting Ourselves Off the Hook

I have an event this weekend. I have a to do list in my head for what I THINK I need to do to be successful at this event.

I haven’t done any of the things on my mental to do list. I just don’t feel like it.

I’m playing with the discomfort I feel with not having done these things. I’m playing with the idea of instead, continuing to just do what is making me happy (currently, watching an inspirational YouTube video).

It’s so wild how conditioned we are to follow the shoulds instead of the bliss. My process of getting ready under the shoulds feels heavy and unenjoyable. What kind of result will that bring energetically? Fairly obvious.

I deeply know these things, and yet my conditioning (after years of unraveling it) STILL makes me think I need to follow these thoughts and shoulds.

What if, instead, watching these videos gives me some amazing insight. And also, doing what makes me happy and peaceful just creates a better vibe in me. I will serve so much better from a better vibe. It’s what we all want. It’s what I want. It’s what I am here to activate in other people.

I’m going to let go of the shoulds for the millionth time and do what pleases me. In the end, I may come back around to that list. It may look the same; it may look different. But I will be better. And that will make all the difference.

I invite you to take the time to care about making yourself happy. Take action from that place. What if we all did? Bless.