My phone died a horrible, slightly unexpected death this week. Really, there is some grief associated with that experience, but that’s a separate story.
As I navigated the maze of incredibly expensive and upselled phone options, I decided that using my phone insurance to replace it was the best plan.
In contrast to my experience at the phone store, the woman I talked with from the insurance company was personable, compassionate, understanding, and helpful. I truly enjoyed my time with her helping me. At the end of the conversation, she asked if I would be willing to take a short survey.
I panicked a little bit. Do I want to?
Now, underneath this, we know, is that this wonderful woman who just helped me could be helped in return by me giving her good ratings on this survey. I felt a sense of duty to her. I felt a sense that I “should” take the survey.
But, I was still fresh from thinking about how I need to take care of me first. How, when I take care of me, all else falls into place.
Did I want to take a survey?
No. I didn’t. I told her so.
I could hear her disappointment. I’m an empath. I could FEEEEEEL her disappointment. There is a part of me that still wants to get to that survey now because it was SO UNCOMFORTABLE to tell the truth that I did not want to take a survey. It was so uncomfortable to put my desires in front of someone else’s in that moment. Even in reflection, it’s stretching my heartspace to feel into me offering a “no” out of self love. I’m even still questioning it as I did in the moment.
What the fuck?
We are SO conditioned to put others’ needs, wants, and desires before our own. Most of the time, we don’t even CONSIDER what our true needs, wants, and desires are. I have been on a journey of exploring and allowing myself to fully embody what I REALLY desire in my life. It hasn’t been easy.
We have to learn to say no. We have to be able to stand in that space and feel the discomfort when others have to honor our no. Sometimes they don’t honor our no. Sometimes they push back and we have to stand stronger.
If we are going to truly walk our talk, then we also need to honor the “no” of others. This can get tricky. We are allowed to feel our feelings about a “no” we receive. But to truly honor the no, we must celebrate and accept it. So much more is possible when we do.
When we do this for ourselves and others, we create a living container for expressing our truest selves in the moment. When we are able to do this in one moment, we create strings of moments like this that turn into a much more fully-lived, authentic lifetime.
Do I want to take a survey? It seems like such a simple question. But it really became a place for me to walk my talk yet AGAIN on my authentic path. Allow myself the freedom of my truth. Allow another to experience their chance to honor a no and to potentially feel disappointment.
We have so many opportunities like this. How many are we really living?
If you’d like support in learning how to honor both your yesses and nos, I offer energy alchemy sessions and packages that help you live your most aligned life of truth and freedom. Especially helpful for empaths and recovering people pleasers. Alignment is the most efficient and joyful state there is.