A culture of consent and caring

culture of caring

What if more socioeconomic discussion dissolved into laughter at the end?

What if we listened to the hearts of the grandmothers and grandfathers?

What if we listened to the words of the children?

What if we listened to the needs of all? All people. All races. All ages. All genders. Nature.

What if we put caring as a national priority?

Wow.

What if we put caring as a world priority? (Maybe nations aren’t necessary.)

Perhaps we can start with it as a personal priority. Be sure to include yourself.

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Speak up. You matter.

Speak up You matter

Old paradigm ideas have a tendency to come to the surface for re-evaluation.  This affords those of us who happen to be conscious, aware, sensitive, new-thought visionaries quite an opportunity.

What does that look like and what are the opportunities it affords?

Well, it looks like some people bringing forth ideas that are very much not in our highest interest anymore. (In conversation, in public settings, on social media.) And a small percentage of people recognizing how damaging these can be. But these ideas have been embedded in our psyches for years. And the people who recognize the need for new ideas have been shamed and silenced for years.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I am one of those people who recognize the need for real, deep, lasting, authentic, heartfull change. And since you are reading this, you likely are, too.

But it can be so hard to speak up.

So hard.

Most of us have been conditioned from the womb and as children that our thoughts, feelings, opinions don’t matter. We are told to be quiet, to take it, it’s just “the way things are”.

That is not true.

Your thoughts, feelings, opinions do matter. They do. Your voice is important. My voice is important.

Speak up.

Tips for speaking up

  1. Determine if you have the right audience. Is the person or people you are considering speaking up to AT ALL open to your ideas or caring about your feelings or experience? If you know in your heart, the answer is no… Ok, don’t speak up to that person. No casting pearls before swine. That just opens you up to bad feelings and not wanting to do it again. Plus it’s a waste of everyone’s time.  You are precious. Your time is precious. This feels like starting with a paradox, but life is full of paradox. So be it.

If you determine you have a reasonable chance of openness from your audience, try this…

  1. Be brave.
  2. Be kind.
  3. Use “I” statements. Say how you see things. Say how certain things make you feel. Give your perspective without blame.
  4. Let it go. You may or may not get the result you want from this audience. A positive result is great, but not ensured.

Whatever happens, it was a good practice for you. It’s a muscle. The more you speak up, the better your life becomes. The better your life becomes, the better life becomes for all.

You can do this.

Your voice matters. Speak up. Kindly. Bravely. Responsibly.

If you feel there is no one in your life who can openly and kindly hear your truth, find new people.

It’s a big world out there.

You matter.

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This World

thisWorld

This world
has a way
of making women hard.

Heartbreak
has a way
of making women hard.

I’d rather be soft
supple
vulnerable
pliable
warm

I’m a mother.
It’s the most important thing
to me.
It’s a sacred calling
which this world
does not much support.

We must compete
bite
scratch
claw
to eek out our existence

So they say

I’m weary of
this lack mentality.

I’d rather fly
with the birds
over the ocean
into the sun.

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We Can All Get Our Needs Met

Bleeding Hearts

I recently saw a post from a Facebook friend that asked this question (paraphrased): Is it better to put your spouse first or your kids first?

To my near utter shock, people dutifully weighed in on which should be prioritized, spouse or kids. They all had what they considered very logical arguments and were quite passionate about their choice.

It made my heart sink.

People truly believe, in so many cases, that we must make choices like that. For one to win, others must lose. This is ground into us.

The new paradigm belief, however, is this:

We can all get our needs met.

Feel into that.

We can all get our needs met.

I replied that it depended on the situation and that we like to use needs-based negotiation in my family. Sometimes it is obvious whose needs come first… someone is bleeding, someone is crying. If your kid is sick, they are likely to be prioritized over that date with your spouse. If everyone is fine, but your spouse feels neglected, then that takes precedence.

Sometimes it is less obvious. Then you simply ask each person what they want or need. It does take some time and care, but it is so worth it to live from the idea that we can all be happy. Often you will find ingenious solutions that allow everyone to get what they want or need once it is all out on the table. But you have to start from the belief that it is possible, or you can’t get there!

Other times, one person will see quite clearly that their need is just not that strong and will gladly concede to someone else’s need. Because, really, we all want all of us to be happy. And the strongest need can be felt energetically when we pay attention and allow.

Let’s try starting from here, however, and see what develops…

We can all get our needs met.

It’s a freakin’ abundant universe. Believe.

Bless

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New Beginnings

We are in a season of New Beginnings. In fact, we are in a whole AGE of New Beginnings. Many of us have been purging and cleaning up our old lives for months or years. We are each at our own unique spot in this journey, but we are all on the journey.

For me, I feel I am very close to being done with cleaning out the accumulated stuff of the old. In my life, this has manifested in numerous ways. First, I worked on myself. Then, people began to leave my experience. Then, I had to work on the emotional and spiritual upheaval that these leavings caused in me. After the mental and emotional work, there was some legal work. Next, came the actual physical work. Somehow, many of the people who left my life left their STUFF with me. I have been cleaning out the actual physical stuff that five different people have accumulated throughout the last 70 years.

This has been some of the hardest work I have ever done.

There is always some of that clearing to be done on a regular basis, if you want to keep your life and space healthy. But this past year has been an epic overhaul that has completely changed my life. I haven’t been able to control the process. I have only been able to surrender and ride the waves. Much help has shown up. Not the people who helped me create the mess. New people.

I always knew I needed to clean up this mess before I fully rebirthed myself into a new reality. It was overwhelming and daunting. I’ve had to take many breaks, but never quit. I have persevered, and it is almost done.

I’ve been looking forward to this day of stepping into the new. Being unshackled from the old and creating unfettered. And here it is. It took longer than I thought, but here it is. I’ve had thoughts and projects brewing that I kept shelving and waiting. And now it is getting the time to begin.

It’s exciting. And a little bit terrifying, this blank page before me.

I got stage fright when it came time to write the first piece for this new page with my new identity. “What will I say?” “There is nothing to say.” “There is everything to say.” “How should I say it?” “Will anyone care?” “What if I don’t like it in two weeks?” And on and on and on, the thoughts they wander.

And then I realized… Just begin it.

Well, I said a prayer and things clarified.

Just begin it.

It doesn’t need to be perfect, and yet it will be.

Just begin it.

One of the most beautiful things about the Internet age is that we are uniquely invited to give up on being perfect. We can create more and faster than ever. And it’s always changing. Nothing is set in stone. And things can seemingly last forever on the Internet. Terrifying and freeing.

What if, in two weeks, we don’t like what we created? That makes it hard to get started. There’s a good chance that could happen. It’s actually a good thing when that happens to any artist or maker or creator. It signals evolution. Each step is necessary to get where we are. Celebrate it. Celebrate every step of the process. Celebrate every little thing you no longer like. Let it be.

So, if you are on the cusp of your own New Beginning…

Just begin it.

It’s all ok. You got this. We’ve got it together.

Bless.

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