Danger

“The human heart is the most dangerous thing in the world.” -Osho

The master is inside your own heart.
I did not know the danger when I began.
(And thank God for small favors or I would not be here!)
So, I’m sorry for telling you this here.
Perhaps you should stop reading, but here goes…
I simply committed to following my heart.
In every way.
In every moment.

What happens then?
The heart takes us back to our Self.
The heart takes us back to our truth.
Everything else falls away.
Everything leaves.
Eventually
nothing but the desire to experience
Truth
Love
Freedom
Persists.

Consistency fades
Each moment is new
You no longer act in the ways you used to
Your loved ones may not recognize you
They may call you selfish
Or crazy
Or worse
They may leave you
You may leave them

This is a dangerous moment
What will happen at this moment?
Will you let them go?
Or let your own heart be betrayed?

You may lose all you thought you held dear.
Your things. Your home. Your family.
The life you knew.
Your own heart will take you to Truth
Daily deaths occur
as whatever is not truth falls away
Your floor might be dirty.
Your hair might be unkempt.
You might eat dark chocolate M&Ms for breakfast.
(I just did.)
You might be incredibly lenient with your children
You might let them play too many violent video games
and just float by in school
You stop caring about your punctuation and capitalization
(I’m starting to in this writing.)
because you realize
None of it matters!
The only thing that matters
Is the call of the heart
If your dirty floor does not call your heart
it can f*ck off and be dirty.

Nothing is the same
Life can be sparkly and new and beautiful
But forever
Different.
The human heart is the most dangerous thing in the world.
But I will tell you this…
It’s all worth it.

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Divine Mother (Poem)

Anandamayi Ma Crop
Anandaymayi Ma

Divine Mother
Mother
So much there
Doesn’t feel divine
I need to find the real Mother
The real source
Let go
Let go
Let go
Move deep into the Heart of Love
This is truth.

Not the façade we have felt
Not the burning wanting
The Heart of Love
The Heart of Love
The Heart of Love
It’s all there for us
Why do we get stuck
on concepts?

Why do we place so much need
on little humans?
Be this
Do this
Fulfill me

Take me into your heart, Divine Mother
I know I am there
Why do I not notice?
Help me notice.
Clear my blocks
Love me

I open to your love, Divine Mother.
Even though it’s hard
with that M word there
It still doesn’t feel Divine.
Take it.

Opening
Opening
Opening
Stillness
Allowing
Embracing

Let me lie in your arms
and believe in love.
I don’t know what stops me.
Take it.

Let me lie in your arms
and tell me I’ve done enough.
Tell me I can rest
You’ve got this one
Tell me I can rest
Tell me I am enough
Tell me I am all
I want to believe you

Opening
Opening
Opening
Pierce through my resistance
with your gentleness.
Stroke my brow
Touch my hair
Love me

 

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Morning Demons

I awaken

I awaken.

Sometimes before I even open my eyes,
they are here.

The morning demons.

I don’t understand why they come.
Didn’t I just come out of pure isness?
Why would demons greet me
on the other side?
Shouldn’t I be refreshed? I am not.

Well, let’s get down to it.
Who is here?
Pure existential panic?
Well, hello.

Who else?
Not enoughness?
A wink and a punch to you.

Who else?
Guilt?
Oh guilt… where are you?
Are you hiding again? C’mon… guilt…
I know you’re there.
My mother kindly told me
ALL about you.
Oh, there you are.
Hello, Guilt.
What? I haven’t done enough?
Ok. Thank you, Beloved.
I see.

Thank you.
I know you are going.
I think I might miss you most of all.

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I Am Innocent

I AM Innocent

Try this
(if you feel it)…

“I am innocent.”

Now REALLY feel it.
“I am innocent.”

Any time any outer reflection
of the world
seems to want to make you “wrong”.

Any time you feel
there are conditions placed upon you
by any one or any thing
if you do or don’t behave
in certain ways…

“I am innocent.”

It is all just an outer reflection
of something we have internalized,
often likely from long ago.

The truth is…

I am innocent
I am innocent
I am innocent

Now, live from this place
and see what happens!

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There are not enough ways

This Love

There are not enough ways
To express this love
It’s too boundless
Too much
Too oceanic
Too large

It comes like an old metaphor
The sea
Or a tidal wave
Too much
Too much
Can there be too much?
Maybe it’s just me

Where do I put it?
Where can I put the ocean?
And how does an ocean spring from my heart?

How can my heart be infinite?
Like the tears I cried when my first lover betrayed
Oh sweet “betrayal”
I thank him
For he was the first crack to infinity
The infinity is exquisite
And frightening
And exhilarating

Can anyone truly accompany me?
I don’t know
I don’t know if I can even accompany myself
Sometimes being a seer
Being a feeler
Is an ache

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