Later

I’m not interested
in getting lost
in words
that sound Spiritual
when there is a human heart
before me.

Especially if it is breaking
broken
or bleeding.

Presence
Awareness
Compassion
before
Concepts.

Come into
my arms.
Be held by my heart.

Talk can happen
later.

It’s hard to believe

It’s hard to believe
how many Saturday nights
I’ve had without you.
Sundays and Mondays
and all the other days, too.

Sometimes I wonder
if I should have made
different choices.
Usually, I don’t.
Usually, I realize
I couldn’t have.

I did the best
with what I knew.

I trust
I know better now.

Safe Enough

All the pain of not feeling loved.
All the pain of not feeling seen.

It’s visiting now
Because it can.
Because it’s finally safe enough.

Before it’s been pushed aside,
Rationalized,
Spiritualized,
Bypassed,
Covered with food and wine,
Drowned in distractions.

It was too much.
I couldn’t know that
From there.

But now
Here

It’s clearer.
It’s ok.
There is time.
There is space.
There is kindness in my own heart
For my own heart.

And so this pain visits.
It doesn’t have to stay.

This Wound

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This wound…
This wound has hurt.
I guess it needs
more love.

This wound
has stayed with me
for months
whispering my inadequacies
like bombs.

This wound
lies to me,
making me believe
I am unlovable.

Your words,
like cowardly venom,
have poisoned
my mind,
my heart,
my body.

Your actions,
your inaction
has shown me
Truth.

This wound
was here
before you.

You just helped it
gape more.

There are those
who have lovingly
sucked the venom out
time after time.

Will it ever be
completely gone?

Perhaps.

I won’t force.
What it needs here
is
more love
more love
more love.

And I’m not waiting
for anyone else
to bring it.

It’s right here,
right now,
from my broken open heart,
loving me.

Fall In

Maybe one day
you will realize
it’s not the end of the world
to fall in with me.

Or maybe it is.

And you will realize
Thank GOD, that world is ended.

Now the more beautiful world
can begin.