Author: Serena Portal

Lonely Together vs True Connection

Sometimes in intimate relationships, we lose the connection. We are just living together, whether that is in the same space or not.

There can be a palpable loss of real intimacy while still sharing the same space. This condition creates a terrible stuck loneliness. We may wish to escape at all costs, especially once our partner starts mirroring our own issues back to us (which they are always doing.)

It is here that commitment can really benefit us. If we run, we may miss the chance to unpack and release the fears at the heart of our loneliness and longing. Although space might help, deep exploration and moving towards our partners are also great options.

We must learn to communicate the deep truths in our hearts with our lovers and best friends. This is where connection is born. It takes vulnerability and great courage. 

We must learn to listen to the deep truths when they are shared with us. We must learn to discern when it is not about us, so we can hold space for our lovers and friends, family members, and others.

True connection is the antidote to so many of our society’s issues. Are you ready to brave it for a new earth? This does not mean connecting willy nilly with anyone and everyone. This means listening to the deep song in your heart and singing it for those who have ears to hear.

Loving the Distance Practice

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Here’s a practice I came up with this morning…

If there is someone you love, but you are not physically with them, one can use that seeming “physical distance” to bless everything in it’s path.

It’s super simple.

Instead of being sad not to be with that person, (although, you can be sad if you want/need to be), I find I can tune into their energy and experience the connection. From there, it’s a 2-way lovefest that can be imagined to travel whatever distance there is between the two of you. Whether that’s down the block or from here to Mexico.

Try it! So good at these times. Tell me about your experience in the comments. I wanna hear. I love doing energy experiments. 😉

Coffee Filters, Overwhelm, and The Real Truth

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This morning, it took me quite a few tries to extricate a coffee filter. For an incredibly long cinematic nanosecond, the fact that I kept trying with no progress began to make the situation feel impossible. How is it I cannot accomplish such a simple task? Have I not done this thousands of times? Obviously, I should be able to accomplish this.

Of course, in the end, I was victorious (Yay, me!). However, before that grand moment, I experienced situational angst that spread to the rest of my life. If I can’t accomplish this, how am I supposed to do the other bajillion things which are currently making me feel overwhelmed? Little things, like take care of a child, a house, a yard, and a business all on my own.

I spent a lot of time when I was younger spiraling down rabbit holes such as these. It can be quite the slippery slope. Since I have more experience and understanding now, I am generally able to nip it in the bud.

I don’t actually know where this is going next. I was just inspired to write about the experience because it felt somehow universal. I felt maybe someone out there might say, “Oh thank god, it’s not just me.” I could go on to write a tidy little list of what to do in these situations, but somehow that doesn’t feel totally authentic. I like to be authentic. So, I guess I will simply share what I did. I like to be simple, too.

I stopped it. First, I had to realize I was spiraling down. So, once I realized it, I stopped it. I took a breath. I witnessed my own thoughts. I asked myself if they were even true.

Am I really all alone? (No, even though it often feels that way.)

Do I REALLY need to accomplish the long list of things I wrote down on TODAY in my calendar? (No, indeed, I set those tasks and I can rearrange them. I can give myself a break.)

Do I have everything I need in this moment? (Yes)

Can everything work out? (Yes)

Am I doing so much better than I ever have before? (Yes, even though it doesn’t always seem that way to my critical mind.)

Am I really ok? (Yes.)

I “solved” the “problem” of the coffee filter by changing my normal tactic. It took a bit more time than usual (seriously, like 30 seconds). And another thing came up like that just a short while later, further underscoring this same analogy of life in microcosm.

Nothing is impossible. Stopping and regrouping can help. Changing tactics can help. Questioning our assumptions and thoughts can help. Some things take more time than we think they should. It’s ok. Time is irrelevant in the long run. Life has twists and turns. Things don’t always go as planned. It’s still ok to make a plan. It’s ok for Life to deviate. It’s often beautiful for Life to deviate. It’s all ok.

The Real Truth is always soothing. Allow That.

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