Self Love Story #248

It’s amazing when I pay attention to my thoughts how often I am still berating myself and witholding my own love and approval from myself. Witholding things I want or need from myself.

And I have been practicing self love and sacred selfishness for years! Undoing decades of conditioning. It doesn’t usually happen overnight. It’s a practice.

Whenever I catch it, I make it a point to soften and become gentle with myself. Release. Let go. Treat myself like a beloved child. Realize everything is ok. I’m doing fine. I can be kind to myself.

I invite you to pay attention with the intention to soften towards yourself as much as possible. Tell us what you find.

#selflove #Lovemyselfsomuch #248is random #notentirelyrandom

How to Deal with Things You Don’t Want To Do


I recently wrote the following Facebook status: “I love the freedom of just letting go of anything that doesn’t feel good to me.”

Quite rightly, I got a comment on that status that said, “That’s not a bad plan, but what about the shitty things we have to do that are never enjoyable?”

This is something many people face on a daily basis, especially when confronted with the spiritual wisdom that says “only do what you want to do.” As I responded to this friend, I noticed I seem to have a lot of experience dealing with this topic, so it feels good to share these tips with a wider audience.

First of all, it’s important to be REAL honest about what you REALLY have to do and what you don’t. I find that many things are actually choices. Especially when it comes to attending certain events or listening to people you really don’t want to listen to. Consider carefully if this is something you really can just release from your life.

I had a high school English teacher who even would answer the question “Do we HAVE TO?” by saying “All you have to do is occupy space and die.” Now, there is some truth to that. But I like my spirituality to be more practical than that.

So, if after careful consideration, you find that if you DON’T do this thing, your life will be less beneficial than if you DO, here is some guidance.

I make the task as enjoyable as possible. I simplify. There are many ways to do this.

A recent example: Taxes. Now, honestly. I might be able to just not do my taxes. A lot of people make that choice. And I assume many of them “get away with it” in one way or another. I’m not currently at a place where I feel comfortable just not doing them. So, I did my best to make it as enjoyable as possible.

I had to get all my stuff together myself, of course. That wasn’t so hard. Then I chose to get help to get them actually done. I could have struggled through some online program, but instead I chose to invest and hire someone recommended by a friend. She ended up not being very expensive, and it was actually fun doing my taxes with her. I learned some really helpful information for my future financial choices as well. It only took about an hour. It was fun to see her place. She had a sweet cat. My son was with me. We ended up getting a much bigger refund than I thought, which more than covered the extra expense. And we stopped for tacos on the way home.

Maybe I should call my method The Taco Principle: How to Make Anything Enjoyable. Ha. I digress.

That’s just one example. There are ways to make almost anything nicer. And focusing on the feeling of ease and accomplishment when things are done always helps.

I find a certain flow happens for me if it’s something big. (Like doing my divorce myself or figuring out my mom’s estate after she died.)

  1. I resist.
  2. I wait.
  3. I’m overwhelmed.
  4. I start to take initial small steps.
  5. I start to understand “This is big, but I can see the next steps and where to get support.”
  6. Then I get into the momentum, and I’m excited to get it done.
  7. Then I can’t stop myself from doing that thing I didn’t want to do.
  8. Then it’s done and I feel so good!

I have done many massive things I have NOT really wanted to do in the past 5 years or so. The steps above seem to really work for me. I even am ok with the waiting and resisting. Because at some point, something that needs to be done will become big enough that you can “feel that it’s time.” I feel there is some value in waiting for that time. First of all, sometimes you find out you actually didn’t need to that thing in the waiting period! But, when it’s time and you are ready to begin, things just flow better.

And music. Music generally helps. And being really kind. Because then kind support will show up for you. I always do my best to be really patient and sweet to the helpers I find along the way. I tend to attract good support.

What about everyday things like cleaning and cooking and laundry? I recommend simplification, music, and focusing on love of service to your self, your home, your family.

Cleaning and laundry became much more enjoyable once I cleared my clutter. (That WAS another massive project.) But it really gave more meaning to those activities. I highly recommend Marie Kondo’s book, The Unchanging Magic of Tidying Up. (It really did change my life and brought a lot of Having a good relationship with the stuff in your life makes a HUGE difference in time and willingness to care for that stuff. It’s all energy. When you clear energy by clearing clutter and only have what you love and need, you gain a greater appreciation of what you have. When you understand that keeping your space clean and clear has very real positive effects in your life, it becomes much easier. You naturally become more grateful and willing to keep things in order.

In all situations, I really try to not force myself. I let myself wait until I feel really ready to take on whatever challenge it is. Often, there is some time leeway with anything. When there’s not, do your best to dig in with the first step. As Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.”

If you would like support with positive transformation in your life, I am available for Energy Alchemy Sessions.



I had a very special lover who had a beautiful way of connecting with me. We would communicate every day, though he was far away. He would always begin with a moment to feel into me from a distance. To feel my energy and connect. And then he would ask, “what is there for you today?”

This feels like a beautiful way to connect with each other. I feel very blessed to have had this experience for over a year. 

A Short Story of an Ordinary Miracle

The walls in my bedroom are blue to simulate this environment.
The walls in my bedroom are blue to simulate this environment.

Yesterday, I suddenly needed a new sheet for my bed. I just wanted to replace the sheet with the same thing because mine got a hole in it. So we went to the store, and those sheets were on sale! YAY!

They had every single sheet but the one I needed. The color that matched in my size of bed. Boooooo.

I was having that kind of day. (If I didn’t know better, I would have thought Mercury was retrograde.) All sorts of shit was blowing up and acting weird. I was pretty disappointed. There were 2 alternate colors I could get that would kind of coordinate, but not MATCH. I vacillated. I couldn’t decide. My son helped me decide to get the robin’s egg blue, which actually matches my walls. Ok, bummer. No matching sheets. Somehow, I was still disappointed. I can get just a touch OCD sometimes. I even had them check in the back to see if they had any more. Nope. Ok, whatever.

I came home and did all sorts of house and mom stuff. I’d had a long day and didn’t actually get the sheet on the bed until around 9:00pm. It ended up being a pretty perfect match to my wall.  After making the bed and getting ready for sleep, I pulled back the covers to get in. The semi-surprise and beauty of the blue color simply delighted me. It really is one of my favorite colors.

I was really sure in the store that I was disappointed. I was sure for hours that I was disappointed. Turns out, what the universe delivered actually delighted me. I felt that way all last night and all day today whenever I have seen it: delighted.

Sometimes we end up loving that thing we think we didn’t want.

We are all inherently worthy

Care about Other people

Every single person is worthy of having their basic needs met. Because they exist.


Anything that says otherwise is some bizarre conditioning humans picked up along the way from living in this slave society we’ve co-created.

Every single person is worthy of having their basic needs met.

I simply do not understand any argument against this. It’s all bullshit.

Please extrapolate this idea to your personal life. Realize that you are worthy of of every single need, want, heart’s desire. You do not need to earn a single, damn thing.

I’m coming out hard on this one because it’s so absurd.

If we all woke up tomorrow understanding our inherent worthiness, this world would transform. We can do this on a global/political level. But it’s likely it has to come on a personal level first.

It’s preposterous to me that as a society it is not our number one priority that each individual has a safe place to live, food, clothing, and health care. I’m incredulous that anyone argues against this. So, I’m doing my thing. I’m shouting the truth I see into the wind, hoping others pick it up, too. The more of us who pick this up, the better.

We have the ability to make this happen. We have the ability to create a society where we all have our needs met and have time and space to develop ourselves as people. Don’t ask me about the economics of it. There are other people who can figure that out. There are probably hundreds of plans in existence already. I know it’s true. It’s the will we need, and the details will follow.

But first we have to care. About others. About ourselves.

There is no difference.

How does society change if everyone has a place to live, food to eat, clothes to wear, healthcare, and time to develop themselves?

This scenario does not just benefit the one who is receiving these things. We all benefit from this scenario.

Envision it with me. Believe.